15. Seven Things I Always Wanted To Know About Alaska

BEFORE EMBARKING ON THIS TRIP TO ALASKA, I cracked open my journal and wrote down seven questions, about Alaska, that I wanted to answer in Alaska.

As I sit in a clean motel right outside downtown Anchorage, it's about time to get to the bottom of these epic mysteries.

1. What does "Alaska" mean and in what language does it mean it?
"The great land" in the Aleut language.

Learned this as the border on the AlCan highway. You can tell it was the border because they blazed out a path through the forest to mark the border. God forbid we planted a few trees and Americans and Canadians confused who owned them.

2. When and how did Alaska become a state?
Turns out that Alaska become the 49th state exactly 50 years ago.

I know this because they have hung banners all over this state to commemorate the 50th Anniversary of Alaska becoming a state.

Alaskans had been petitioning for statehood for years, at least from 1916, but hadn't gained traction. Many were resentful of the US Congress, who ruled over their fate but wouldn't grant Alaskans their own representatives.

That changed when in 1958, Dwight D. Eisenhower signed a petition to accept Alaska as the 49th state of the union, supposedly in honor for their role in World War II.

3. What were the Japanese doing in the Aleuts during World War II?
They were waging war with America, that's what they were doing. Besides Pearl Harbor, the Aleutian Islands were the only American land to see combat during World War II.

The Japanese forces, led by the great Admiral Yamamoto, were supposedly protecting Japan's northern flank from American counterattack. The invasion was of no great consequence, but due to the difficulty of the islands' terrains, it took America over a year to evict the Japanese from this perch.

4. Can you see Russia from Alaska?
You can. Head to the west coast and you can peek over the Bering Straight and catch a glimpse of Siberia. You cannot, however, see Russia from Wasilla. You cannot see Russia from Wasilla for two geological reasons: 1. there's a mountain range in the way; and, 2. the Earth is round.

This is now a linguistic argument. When Sarah Palin say she could see Russia from her backyard, did she mean her backyard in Wasilla, or the royal, collective, her backyard, which, as governor of Alaska, included, or was pertaining to the Western coast?

The world will never know.

5. Does Alaska have Native American reservations?
Actually, no. Alaska is the only state in the union without Native American reservations--and the Native Americans are much better off for it.

As it turns out, the Native Americans had sued Congress for land rights. Congress ignored them for years--until oil was discovered in Prudhoe Bay and they needed to build a pipeline through indigenous territory.

The indigenous people of Alaska settled for land rights in exchange for giving America a 10-mile swath of land in which they could build said pipeline and Dalton's highway to accompany it.

The natives then formed corporations, of which each member of the community was a shareholder, and in which only members of the community and their descendants could own shares.

If I married in, I couldn't become a shareholder, but my children would be. I learned this from the tour guide after I signed up to take a United States Postal Service plane into the arctic circle.

6. Why is Juneau the capital of Alaska when you can't even drive there?
The city limit of Juneau are larger than either Rhode Island or Delaware, and almost as big as both states combined. That should just give you an idea of just how big Alaska is.

It's the largest state in the union, and they love showing maps up here of Alaska's political boundaries superimposed on a map of the "lower 48" which makes the 49th state look like that birthmark on Gorbachev's head.

Alaska makes Texas look small.

Juneau was actually the first city established after Seward's purchase. There were gold in them there hills, and Joe Juneau, of which the town is named after, went out to find it.

The Alaskans have tried to move the capital a more convenient location, but a couple of public referendums didn't pass--supposedly because Alaskans were concerned about Anchorage assuming too much importance in the state.

Over half the population of Alaska lives in the greater Anchorage municipality. Most of the interior is either pristine, or populated by tiny villages. There are no roads to connect the villages in the interior.

Juneau is the only state capital to border Canada or Mexico. Obviously, it borders Canada.

I cheated to find out this answer by looking it up in Google. Won't get to Juneau for another five days.

7. Is there archaeology in Alaska?
Not only is there archaeology in Alaska, there's in archaeology in Antarctica! They dig in the effing snow.

I learned this at the Museum of the North, at the University of Alaska, in Fairbanks. There they have the official state fossil, the Mammoth.

Back when I was in anthropology school, the cultural anthropologists, of whom I broke bread with, used to make fun of the archaeologists for digging in dirt for three long summer months a year.

If we only knew some of them had fun by digging in ice for three long summer months a year!

Let's not get started on what we said about the primatologists, who had to trek through the jungle for three long summer months, just to catch falling monkey poop in buckets.

It was all in good fun.